So it looks like the red witch is imminent. I've had some spotting since yesterday which increased a bit earlier today, but has since slowed down a bit. Definitely not what I would consider "flow" at this point, but I took a HPT after work today and it was negative. I took the test just for good measure given my history of three pregnancies all with some sort of spotting and bleeding because, for obvious reasons, I'm never confident that I'm not pregnant at the first sign of blood.
Assuming my period truly arrives in full force on or before Sunday, I am supposed to start my first IVF cycle beginning with birth control pills on Sunday. I'm also supposed to call to schedule our nurse teaching, order meds and schedule acupuncture appointments. But now that IVF has become a reality, I'm not sure I'm ready to do it yet.
Here are some of the reasons I am reluctant right now:
(1) At our IVF consultation, I asked our RE if I could possibly have endometriosis and if we should try to figure that out before moving onto IVF. When I read the signs and symptoms of endometriosis, I don't seem to have any of the common, major symptoms, but I do experience some of the "other" symptoms. But other than examining egg quality, which only seems possible by retrieval, endometriosis is the one thing we have never explored or ruled out. My RE said that there are many women who have endometriosis and don't experience any of the symptoms at all or the symptoms are mild so it is never detected. So there is a possibility I could have it and it could be affecting my fertility. However, he said he doesn't think it is necessary for me to have a laproscopy to find out because even if I do have it, IVF is the best treatment for fertility problems related to endometriosis. His explanation pretty much follows the information shared in this post. So at the moment I'm struggling with this issue. On one hand, I think it is important, and I'd like to know, if I do have endometriosis. I think it might just be for peace of mind so I know going into my first IVF that it is a potential problem and before we drop thousands and thousands of dollars. What's another month, right? On the other hand, does knowing really matter if IVF would be the recommended course of treatment anyway? In that case, I might as well just take the plunge and do the cycle this month like we planned - why wait any longer, right?
(2) No insurance coverage for IVF - now that IVF has become the reality we are facing, I fear that it won't work and we will be throwing thousands of dollars away. If somebody asked me whether I'd risk $12,000 for a 30% chance of success at a casino, for example, I would say no. I wish I didn't have to be concerned by the cost of it all, but I do and I don't like thinking about it. It would be so much easier to accept if we were fortunate to have insurance coverage.
(3) Our clinic will be moving to a brand new facility soon and if the move is delayed during this cycle I am concerned that our retrieval will get messed up. Actually, our clinic didn't want us to do IVF last month because based on the way my cycle would follow, the retrieval fell right smack dab in the middle of the week of their targeted move so they weren't scheduling any procedures that week. The targetted week of the move is the second week of August, but we all know about the best laid plans. What happens if the clinic doesn't move that week and instead moves when my retrieval and transfer should take place based on my current protocol at the end of the month?? Maybe we should just wait until the move is over and done with so I don't have to worry about that, too.
(4) the lupron shortage - when I was calling different pharmacies for price quotes on meds, I learned about the nationwide lupron shortage. Has anyone out there had problems with this recently? What happens if I can't get everything I need by the time I need it??
(5) some possible work obligations/conflicts - although nothing is definite at the moment, I will probably have to travel out of town at a couple points of time in August and September and I only recently learned about this possibility. I work for a government agency and come October 1, the beginning of the new fiscal year, we are expecting another freeze on spending. In the meantime, our agency is trying to squeeze in certain trainings and conferences by September 30 and given my responsibilities I will likely be required to attend one or more. As an IVF novice, I don't know if I am going to want to have to figure out how to travel with meds especially since I will be travelling with co-workers or will be brave enough to face the injections alone.
So I'm not sure what to do, but it looks like I have to figure it out by Sunday. I would welcome any thoughts or advice you all are willing to share with me.