So confused and waiting for Friday

My least-favorite nurse called me back shortly after my last post and congratulated me on my positive hpt results. I'm thinking that either she either didn't read the message very carefully or it wasn't completely relayed to her and reminded her that I had started bleeding bright red blood a few hours earlier.  She told me not to be too worried yet, sometimes bleeding doesn't mean an impending miscarriage.  That's a little difficult to swallow after experiencing two miscarriages already so, of course, I'm super skeptical.  I was instructed to continue the progesterone supplements and to come in for a beta on Tuesday morning. 

Tuesday was CD 31 (or was it CD2?) and only 13dpiui.  I was at the clinc bright and early to make sure I would get the results in the afternoon. I was shocked by the positive hpt results on CD29/11dpiui.  And I was even more shocked Tuesday afternoon when a different nurse, who also congratulated me on being pregnant before giving me the numbers, told me my hcg was at 109.  109???  It may not sound like a large number to some people, but for me it seemed HUGE.  Especially since I had pretty much convinced myself that I was losing this pregnancy, too, and had prepared myself to hear a relatively low number probably under 50.  With my other two pregnancies I didn't get positive hpt results until at least CD33 and more than 14dpo.  The highest hcg I had for my first pregnancy was 60.  The beta for my second pregnancy was only 37 at CD34 and, although it was doubling, it was only 152 by CD39.  I had no warning that anything was wrong with my second pregnancy until the morning I woke up to bright red blood and later that morning, in the ER because my former clinic's on-call line rang without answer, confirmed that it was a miscarriage and my hcg level was at 19. 

Back to my current situation, by Tuesday my bleeding had progressed beyond what I would consider spotting.  Definitely felt more like the beginnings of AF.  But the 109 just confuses me so much.  I don't know what to think.  I really won't have any more answers until I go in for a second beta on Friday and find out what the numbers are.  If the number doubles, I will be in utter disbelief.  But at the same time, I've read about others who bleed throughout their pregnancies without any "major" problems.  Sorry for TMI, but I have probably been overanalyzing my bleeding over the past 48 hours.  It has been pretty thin and more watery like in consistency than my typical AF and I can't say there have been many clots like I get with AF.  The color is also a brighter red than AF usually is for me.  But if I am not miscarrying, I have no idea what this could be.  Guess I just have to wait until Friday to see.  In the meantime, I have forbidden myself from POAS.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there! This is so hard. I hope you manage to stay busy today.